Watevs...

The Army, the edge of reason.

I believe it was Clive Owen who said “live and let live”, and when a man who is practically the next Jesus says something like this, all you can do is sit back and live and try not to kill anyone. Oh, the Jesus thing? I heard something about both his parents being men. A miracle that I consider to be even more miraculous than Mary’s Immaculate Conception. But alas, I digress. My point is; armies of the world keep coming up with ways to justify not letting people live.

Case in point: Aussie Troops will now hand out cash, as compensation, to silence the civilians whose lives have been accidentally destroyed by Aussie Defence Force soldiers. Here’s an example of how this will work:

“Oh, Fuck! Sorry mate, was that your wife’s head? Ohhh, sorry about her head!”
“Wobble flogle bloggle! Flob dobble!!”
“Well, obviously we can’t replace her head… but not too worry!”
“Blog floggle! Flop roblogle!”

** Aussie troop stuffs $10,000 USD down bloody neck cavity **
** Civilian stares in disbelief **

“So, Ten-thousand American bucks, how’s that?”

** Civilian stares in disbelief **

“What? Ohh, you drive a hard bargain!”

** Troop stuffs another $2,000 USD down bloody neck cavity **
** Civilian stares in disbelief **

“Good on ya, mate! Well, gotta run! Sorry again about the whole wife thing! We’re cool tho?”

** Civilian stares in disbelief **

“Awesome. Later bro!”

In theory, I can’t see anything wrong with this. I mean if you are going to kill innocent people, might as well have some cash on hand to pacify the distraught widows/children/parents. But what I am concerned about is this scenario:

“Sarge, I think a terrorist just went into that house.”
“Fire at will”
“But Sarge, there’s a problem. There is a family eating dinner in the house.”
“Hmm, that is a problem. I only have $20,000 USD left… How many are there?”
“Well, there’s a Mother, a Father, and it looks like 3 children.”
“Hmmm, and is the house particularly well furnished?”
“Well, no. The Mother is actually crouching on her hands and knees, and the rest of the family are using her as the dinner table. Wow, they look starving…”
“Fire at will”

But watevs… Onward, Christian soldiers.